Jail Experiences 4

MR HALLOWEEN---THE CANDY MAN 1. It is late October--Halloween is coming- beware Taylor is on duty 2. He is the most favorite Deputy Sheriff. Taylor is loved by all. 3. The 60 man dorm is his own personal haunted house. 4. He watches you like a goblin from his attached glass bubble which is full of cobwebs. 5. Since we all are in orange--he thinks we are all his personal pumpkins. 6. He flies into the dorm with the tenacity of a witch on a broom. 7. Officer Taylor is a disciplinarian and scares the shit out of you. 8. He is more frightful than all 3 of my ex wives put together. He may have scare crow in his backyard. 9. He doesn't know how to smile. He is the Candy man 10. When I see him my heart takes an extra beat and I stand at attention. 11. Taylor is Evil Knieval. He watches you as you sleep. He fears no one. . He believes in goons. He leaves no skeletons He is a terror. He is Mr Halloween. 12. At lock down - Taylor scares you not to talk--remember this is own haunted house. 13. He loves the grave yard shift --the spooky time of the night--the witches hour. 14. He is the only officer who really enjoys going to work--because he loves to show his authority and harass you. 15. On shake down night I try to hide my apples, oranges, eggs and cereal so Taylor can't find them but I never win- because Taylor is the best dumpster diver of all. 16. Taylor is very determined to succeed -he even goes through your dirty underwear to find treats--He is the Candy man. 17. Taylor steals your treats--trick or treat in reverse. 18. Taylor keeps his jack-o-lantern on all night so he can disguise himself as a ghost to do his own trick or treating and steal your goodies. 19. Taylor is just doing his job --he is a different breed--don't stand to close --he is so frightening. 20. Taylor loves to yell at you in the sally port--his goal is to put you in the hole. 21. Taylor is so scary- he doesn't even wear a Halloween mask-- with the reflection from his bald head -you can see him from afar--sometimes he looks like Dracula. 22. We recommend Taylor for sargeant of our haunted house. 23. And we hope we never end up in his pumpkin patch 24. Taylor--Me Halloween-The Candy man -is loved by all. 25. PS I think Taylor may be a nice guy when is not at work -one night he asked me if I was alive. 26. Sheriff Ramsbosk will be very proud of this recommendation.